Just for the record, this is my last will and testament.
I have mentioned this to a few of you, but I want to make sure there is a written account of it. I am very concerned about my legacy after I pass on. Unless I cure cancer or cause World War III, I am figuring I wont be remembered in the important sense, so I need other ways to leave my mark on the world. This method will ensure this to some degree.
When I die, I must be cremated and have my ashes placed in an urn. It doesn't have to be an expensive urn, just something that is air tight, and durable in case it drops since I do not want it to break. Once I am in urn/ash form I want to be placed in the fridge next to the ketchup (which should be on the door, NOT the shelves). When some random person goes in your fridge, they will ask... "What this next to the ketchup?" you can respond "Ohh, that's Shawn.". They will be confused, but once they figure it out they WILL drop it, hence needing the durable urn. High Impact Plastic is good, maybe a nice neon green will do. I am figuring no one in my immediate family will be up for this, so I would rather be with someone who will carry out my request. Plus once you receive the urn, you must have a person named to carry on the tradition. This person does not have to have known me, just has to get the joke and have someone else in mind to pass it on to when they die.
Ohh, then there is the Myspace/facebook/LiveJournal/DeviantArt etc. issues. I do not want my page to become some "ohh shawn, I miss you so" kinda crap in the comment section that makes me depressed. So I need to entrust my accounts to someone. They won't so much respond like "shawn memory lives on, blah, blah ,blah..." It would be more like "Hey, sorry I have been kinda busy with things. How is the dog doing?" and play the role of me. Posting about my day, what I did, how cold the fridge was today etc... Heck you could even post on others profiles as the ghost of Shawn haunting them. That would be epic. Even post pictures of me, but it would be like blurs in the background or something like those cheesy ghost sightings. You get the idea. I need someone who would be dependable enough to go online regularly to do this, and trust my passwords to BEFORE I die. There may be more than I person wanting this position, so I may create an application, and interview process. You should send your resumes to firstname.lastname@example.org. If you comment with your resume here you will be disqualified from the hiring process. Compensation will be based on your level of previous experience, so if you have done embalming, or seen lots of dead people and are cool with it your pay would go up.
p.s. I am not dying that I know of, this is just in case.
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